Acceptance is the key to change; sounds contradictory? Usually change is associated with non-acceptance or questioning or rebellion.
Once there lived a very knowledgeable man, people used to come to him for advice from far away places. He had a son who was very sweet and polite. Once the father’s friend, a great knowledgeable man visited their place. After having food, he started reading the palm of the boy. After sometime with a very serious tone and sad face he informed the father that the boy would remain illiterate as his palm did not have the ‘Education Line’ on it. The father became very sad but accepted it as his fate. The boy out of curiosity went to the man and asked him where the line of education appears on the palm. The man showed it on his own palm, the boy looked at it, then at his own hand and ran outside the house and disappeared. His father and his friend understood that child could not accept his fate. After sometime though, he came back and showed his palm to the man and asked whether now he could get educated. They both looked at his palm which was bleeding profusely. The boy had engraved the line with a sharp stone on his palm in the same place where the man had showed him. They both were astonished to see his dedication for education. The boy was none other than ‘Panini,’ known as the ‘Father of Sanskrit Grammar’, the language which is known as the ‘Mother of all languages.’
The father accepted the fact that boy would remain illiterate as the destiny had decided it by not drawing the line of education on his palm but Panini after accepting the fact that the Education line was missing on his palm and which could deprive him of education, made efforts to change it and went on to become the world-renowned person.
Many times, acceptance is misunderstood as a sign of weakness. There are various nuances to the term acceptance. it can be accepting the situation as it is without taking efforts to work on it or pushing it back. Acceptance of the circumstances which are not in our control or beyond our control. Once we accept the reality, the doors open up for ideas to turn the adversities in our favour by working on them.
We are all amazed to see people who paint with their feet or play despite not having limbs. We appreciate them for their astonishing achievements by overcoming all the adversities but what we need to see and understand is that they have accepted the circumstances which are adverse but they have maneuvered the difficulties and find a way to deal with it using their strengths. They are using their strengths to overcome it rather than sulking with pain and self-pity. We may feel that refusing to accept something helps us bring in the required change.
What is required is to accept is the challenge to change the situation and not to accept the situation as it is. When we accept our mistakes, we can rectify them but if we refuse to do so, we may keep on repeating the same mistakes. Hence, acceptance does not denote defeat or weakness but willingness to change. If we want to bring in the change in our life, we need to accept the situation, analyse it and then try to work on it to make it favourable for us.
Owing to an undisciplined lifestyle, if a person suffers from health issues, he may either accept it and start working on it to improve or he may deny it by trying to blame it on something else and continue to do so, which may further lead to a new set of problems.
Acceptance comes with understanding the limitations we face due to certain problem and working on the highest possible solution to overcome it. This acceptance gives us a positive outlook, courage and success. I have seen a mother who, when confronted with the reality of severe health issues of her newly born child, bravely accepted it and worked so hard on it that she achieved something no one could even think of for that tiny baby. The child grew independent, equally fighting the battle with the help of his mother. People were astonished to see him achieve the feats that were deemed impossible. Whereas a mother who did not accept the problem of her child in spite of bringing it to her notice, kept on fighting with the world to prove that they were wrong and in the process, ignored the special needs of the child. To prove her point right she refused to accept that her child required some extra and special care which could have helped the child overcome the problems. She dragged her in the rat race of life and blamed her for not performing well in academics, sports or extracurricular activities. The child tried her level best to fulfill her mother’s demands but finally got tired and gave it up. She lost her self-esteem and day by day her normal performance drowned, leaving the child vulnerable to the competitive world. The child suffered at the hands of non-acceptance of reality by her parents.
We cannot control everything and everyone nor can we change everything. Sometimes it is wiser to accept the reality but with caution and prudence to overcome the obstacles and move on.