The Way I Am

by | Jun 25, 2024

I know I am someone
That most of the people
did not understand,
…not that they did not want to
but simply that they could not.

I have always carried an amiable smile,
but I never really could let my guard down.
The world says that the eyes reflect the truth, Stating all about who you truly are,
but no one ever bothered to look past my walls,
to uncover the depths of who I was.

Maybe I protected myself with vehemence,
trying to save my real self,
In hope that even if not everyone,
There might be someone,
who will perceive me on an intimate level.
Someone like me, knowing whom I would love.
A soul with immense strength
And a sensitive nature,
One who would read mind
in ways that would intimidate the world.
One who would possess wisdom beyond years
and love deeper than the superficial version
of love, of the world.

I always needed more
than a quick and shallow love,
a committed, intense and pure one instead.
Conscious of the fact that
if I could not give my all
to someone or something,
I preferred to walk away,
as I did not know how to do anything halfheartedly, including to love.

I somehow understood
That I was not for everyone around me,
As there will always be people
who wanted to love me
but did not necessarily know
How exactly to.
Those were the ones who had tried to love me,
on their terms,
without truly trying to
understand me and my mind.

Eventually, I thought nothing of this normalcy.
The world was full of ordinary people
leading nice lives with average dreams.
Deciding not to think much about it,
I accepted and kept walking the path
that lay before me.

My soul at times felt lost,
after a lot of difficulty
when I gathered my pieces,
I saw some parts missing in me.
When I looked for them,
I understood that what I yearned for was
for something to add meaning
To my living,
like contentment with infinite love and happiness,
Which meant the most to me.

I did not try to be different from what I was.
My soul was distinctively rich
and my mind wired in some uniqueness.
I could not make out why
was I so soulfully passionate,
though I could hardly express myself.
However, it was also true
that my heart and soul
would not let me be any other way.

Sometimes I would shy away from the spotlight
and love to be revealed
In the brilliant allure of the stars.
Often I found my solitude
in soaking in a beautiful sunrise,
or losing myself in a cup of coffee
in the ambering rays of a hued sunset.
I was well conscious of who I was,
even if I could not sometimes
explain it in detail.

I saw myself as an old soul,
caught between a strong mind
and a fragile heart.
I have started hearing soft whispers
from the Universe,
that I am beautiful and consistently cherished,
And I feel warm and secure.
I now truly believe,
That I am blissful and happy
just the way I am.

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